Do Leaders (Now) Need to Be Therapists?

New Science of Emotional Well-being Series: Part 1

For many, remote and hybrid work has brought about an unprecedented mix of uncertainty, isolation, and emotional struggle. These conditions are ripe for stress, burnout, and disconnection—emotional states that can sap energy, motivation, and well-being.

These feelings are normal. But they don’t have to be inevitable—especially if we begin to understand and manage them differently. Leaders today have a unique opportunity to help their teams suffer less and enjoy more in their work and life.

The surprising truth about emotions

The latest research in brain science—led by thinkers like Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett at Northeastern University—is rewriting much of what we thought we knew about emotions.

We’ve long believed that emotions are triggered by external events. But the reality is more fascinating: our brain runs millions of predictive simulations to create emotions that interpret our experience and prepare us for action.

Emotions don’t just happen to us—they happen by us.

Emotional well-being is about realizing we are the authors of our emotions.

And that matters—because how we feel directly shapes how we think, relate, learn, and perform. The science now backs what many of us have sensed intuitively for years:

How we feel is how we do.

No, leaders don’t need to be therapists.

Here’s the good news: leaders don’t need formal psychotherapy training to support team members who are struggling. They just need to lean into what they already know as good human beings.

Based on current neuroscience, here are three core needs that support emotional well-being at work—and how leaders can help meet them.

1. People need to feel heard.

Feeling heard is one of the most validating human experiences. It reassures us that our emotions are real and understandable.

People feel heard when leaders practice:

• Curiosity – Asking for specific examples. When someone seems upset, simply say, “I’d like to understand more.”

• Attunement – Asking how someone feels, not assuming how they should.

• Validation – Acknowledging the truth of their experience without judging or fixing it. It’s not about agreeing, it’s about seeing.

These simple actions—curiosity, attunement, and validation—build trust and safety. They’re the opposite of lecturing, dismissing, or ignoring emotional cues.

2. People need to feel quieter emotions.

When someone is in distress, part of the challenge is that their emotions are turned up too loud.

Emotions exist on a volume continuum—some are quiet, some loud. The quieter they are, the easier they are to manage. One way to quiet emotions is by making them more specific to the situation.

Clichés like “I’m just stressed” or “I feel crappy” are vague and loud. But more granular emotions—like “I’m nervous about presenting something that still feels rough” or “I’m discouraged because I feel stuck”—help quiet the noise and open up space for action.

Here are four questions leaders can ask to help someone compose more precise, manageable emotions:

• What are all the feelings you’re experiencing right now?

• What in this situation is true for you?

• What might be true?

• What do you like about what’s happening—or wish were happening?

Once someone puts words to their experience, they begin to author their emotions rather than be overwhelmed by them. And with that clarity, resilience becomes more possible.

3. People need to feel optimism.

Optimism is more than positive thinking—it’s the belief that things can improve. And that belief is rooted in a sense of agency.

People who feel empowered to experiment with how they work are more creative, resilient, and motivated. They don’t need every answer—they need permission to try something new.

Leaders can nurture this by encouraging continuous experimentation:

• Try something new

• See what happens

• Learn from it

• Adjust

When teams see that experiments are welcomed—not punished—it builds optimism and momentum. They believe they can shape their own future, even in times of uncertainty.

The bottom line

Supporting emotional well-being doesn’t require therapeutic credentials. It requires presence, curiosity, and a willingness to let people feel what they feel. Leaders who practice these things make it safer for their teams to navigate challenges, show up authentically, and keep growing.

Everyone benefits when emotional well-being is part of the culture. It’s the foundation for meaningful contribution, resilience, and shared success.

This post includes excerpts from
The Poetry of Human Emotion: A Science-based Guide to Emotional Well-being
(Jack Ricchiuto, 2020 | NuanceWorks)